To the Doctors Collecting Uteruses: My Grandma Said, “Every Goodbye Ain’t Gone.”
When I was a little girl, my grandmother used to have this saying, “every goodbye ain’t gone.” She said it to wisely let us know that just because we thought a story was over does not mean that it has truly ended. Dawn Wooten, a nurse and humanitarian who became a whistleblower reminded me of my grandmother’s saying because when asked what happened to the women who were forced to have hysterectomies without their knowledge or consent, Wooten said that they were deported. Did you think the story ended when those women left the United States without their uteruses? If so, my purpose is to recount my own story in an effort to collectively heal from the complex trauma and grief that you cause.
When I was a pregnant 22-year-old undergraduate Alabama State University student in Montgomery, Alabama you attempted to sterilize me,
Tubiligation is an easy procedure. We can tie your tubes when you give birth. We will be in there anyway. That way you never have to worry about birth control.”
You were disappointed when I declined your offer. You gave me a brochure and suggested that I reconsider. I knew I wanted to have more children. I thought that it was simply you being racist because we were in the deep south. I decided to give birth to my daughter in California instead. I gave birth to her and three more children in the San Francisco, Bay Area.
I know you were angered that my uterus still worked after having birthed four children because when I was a graduate student at the University of California, Berkeley you tried to convince me to have a hysterectomy. You said,
Your uterus is old. I am not accustomed to uteruses like yours. The uteruses that I see are of young women. You should have a hysterectomy.
Your words made me feel incompetent. My goal is not to understand; justify; rationalize your malpractice. Rather, I acknowledge the complexity of grief and loss over your racism and anti-black hatred. I amplify the voices of the women that you deported, the women whose uteruses you stole, the women you violated, the women whose hearts you have broken. We are mightier than the harm you inflict.
Recently, Donald Trump claimed that the far left has indoctrinated students to believe that “America is a wicked and racist nation.” He called for a 1776 commission to create patriotic education that focuses on white male heroes. He points to antiracism education and critical race theory as Anti-American propaganda. Trump and your worst fear is that people who have been subjected to racism and gender violence will dismantle white supremacy and patriarchy. Be afraid because every goodbye ain’t gone.
