Dear White Men, Never lecture Black women on the n-word

This post is written in response to a Facebook post written by Frank Sommerville, a White television anchor, who complained that his Black daughter listens to the n-word in rap music. Sommerville wrote that his daughter called him racist for telling her not to listen to songs with the n-word. She argued that Black people have made the n-word into a term of endearment. Sommerville wrote, “All I want is for my daughter and all other black women to be recognized for how beautiful they are.”

Sadly, White men like Frank Sommerville think Black women don’t know our beauty. White men, we recognize our beauty. You are the ones who really do not recognize how beautiful Black women really are. So read this post and let me explain it to you.

White men, when you lecture us on how we should feel about the n-word, you are stealing our intellectual property. Because you are taking credit for knowledge that we have and making it appear as if it is yours. Black women have unadulterated knowledge of the impact of the n-word. We are painfully aware that White men have used the term to degrade us for centuries.

Frank Sommerville, your daughter’s worst fear is not that she will hear a rapper use the n-word in a song. It’s that she will hear you use it in an argument. White men, be honest with yourselves. Do you really fear that Black women don’t know how beautiful we are? Or, is your real fear that you do not recognize our true beauty even when you love us? Your real fear is that you will use the word against us; you will degrade us; you will dehumanize us. You fear the n-word because you know that the past is prologue. That’s why you don’t want to hear us use the n-word in a rap song.

We, Black women, know something you don’t. The real beauty of us is that we are artists. We engage in the work of transformation. Art is making something out of nothing. When a rapper, turns a blank sheet of paper into a song, it’s art. Black women have been making art since we were brought to this country in chains. As Audre Lorde said,

If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.

Black women’s existence is the definition of art. Inflicting your white male gaze on us is not art. It is racism. Guess what? Art is what will change America. And that’s the real beauty of Black women.